Self Climbing Deathwish

I recently purchased a self climbing stand off of Facebook Marketplace for $25. The seller said it might be garbage. And for some strange reason, I think he's wrong.

The stand is definitely old school. It's dark green paint has faded into a chalk and the wood under the padded seat has cracked, highlighting questionable integrity. To my amazement the jaws look like they’ve never climbed a tree. I couldn't find a single nicks in the paint on the teeth. I still can't find a brand name on it. The only readable tag had a phone number, which led to a Google search, which led to a list of recalls. Fancy.

Using my sub-par "never need directions" intuition, I cobbled the aluminum contraption together and commenced a series of rigorous test runs. To my surprise, "Ol’ clanky" performed very well. It's clever two-piece design allows the user to shimmy their way up the tree fairly quickly. It does require quite a bit of upper body strength to ascend and descend a tree. The stand had no problem climbing 14ft. Nevertheless, because I can't leave a good thing alone, I drilled in a few additional "adjustments" to climb even higher and silenced some of the rattlely bits with hockey tape. Most folks would say I need a fall harness and that I also void warranties. And they’d definitely be right. **Coughs ** Go Fund Me? **Cough**

Hauling this bad boy around is pretty easy as well, disassembled, (4 bolts) it stacks on top of itself and fits right onto the shelf of my frame pack. Tight binding is necessary to keep it from shifting too much on the pack, and a ratchet strap remedies that problem.

All together with the pack and straps, it's a light load. Under 30lbs

I'm really enjoying this dangerous little toy. You're not going to spend 8hrs in it, but there is so much freedom in the ability to climb and hunt out of virtually and tree. However, finding a tree that is limbless past 14ft can be difficult.

You should probably do your own research before purchasing one of these.

(And wear a harness)

Hopefully I'll see you out on an AMA, not at the ER.